MEMO TO SELF

Within darkness lies a fear
jet black onyx drawing near
pupils dilate, pulse does race
heart beats rapidly … a quickening pace
breath held in, afraid to exhale
thoughts move fast yet sluggish as snail
slow motion drives my legs to stall
a script repeating, cemented feet fall
upon spiral staircase slick with nighttime’s dew
my only thoughts are to save you
I don’t need you to worry for me
cause I’m alright
pacing my steps with all my might

-Marsha Nelson
5/30 NaPoWriMo
04.05.2016

The cut of the street runs straight
enough for a give, a take
behind closed doors
lost people break
populated minds, bodies, souls, bones
corrupted
whether by pride, choice or coincidence
misery moans from doorways
lifted through breezes
to congregate as night halos
under incandescent
shadows
bounce between swapped handshakes
high fives, low tens
wanting something, make dreams bend
creepin’ contraband
on the DL
future bleak because cycle strong as hell
young hearts nurtured
by asphalt and armory
certainly where they don’t belong
merciful God …
help, SOS, filth and mire
too much to digest
brimstone and fire
generations strong need to invest
in a one-way ticket
out of this nest
not to the grave like so many others
but into light’s embrace and prosperity
where knowledge …
will give them an edge
for hope, love, laughter
free from death and disaster

The cut of the street runs
a two-way path
the journey towards freedom
from Devil’s wrath
but the blind eye of government spies
shutters
camera lens out of focus, blurry then
flutters
half-truths or no truths
through media vultures
can do more harm than good …
the cultures.
shine their light here and there
into corners of deception
alleys of despair
never covering the full spectrum
never do they share
completely the visions of the streets
the morality
mortality
all of the defeats ….
keep a quiet voice on decay
a cavity of life’s root
bite those with the wands of power
they don’t give a shit or a hoot
tryin’ to cover their tracks
running deception by day
by night flippin’ deals with SuperFlys and hacks

big brother
none other
take cover
hear thunder
lightning strikes random
taking lives out in tandem
tantrum
beat fists
stick
knife
gun
the people in control
have continuously won (with deceit)

This street vision
that I see from my tower above (second story)
has not always been like this
because I once was
part of a group of congregated halos
instinctively runnin’ game
getting’ by
turnin’ stones
claimin’ land
all for that next high
looking back
how did I manage
to live a life so fearless and forage
for my existence
to keep alive
The name of the game
bee stung or bee hive
honey sweet lines
blended with icky sticky smoke
raise our treasure to the sky
take a toke
thought we were tricky
but looking back …
it was an unfocused lie
survive …
I did
but I paid my dues
some did not last the life
now they are part of rainbows hues
Whatever intentions migrate from
cuts of the street long
pad your journey with knowledge
pledge yourself to be strong

depression
Marsha Nelson
04.04.2016
NaPoWriMo
4/30
[Challenge Link: https://1sojournal.wordpress.com/2016/04/03/napowrimo-day-4/ ]

mystical-art-001

Upraised woman with colorful dress blowing on a sand dune. Moon and stars. Photo based illustration.

Witness to the thoughts that feed my senses
I break down the block that serves my defenses
A Poet am I with stories to tell
Some mediocre and some about hell
Love evades me but still feel a longing
To reach the pinnacle of really belonging
Just scratches on paper to convey my emotion
Still searching for the elusive ‘No. 9 Love Potion”
See I’m a Searcher on a mission
Akin to Madame Rue
Heart part gypsy
Heart part blue
bleeding my soul with spatters of India Ink
Hoping the fortress built around my heart
Will melt down, collapse and finally shrink
I challenge myself with a blink of an eye
To prove the well I’ve been protecting
Hasn’t run dry ….

When speaking of endless random thoughts
Threads claiming interconnectedness cannot get lost
My roots run deep, long and plenty
Rare are the days my soul is empty
Completeness surrounds me with uneven grace
A yin to my yang jockeying for space
An erotic twist briefly binds my soul
A hypnotic ink that makes veins roll
Surging through life never skipping a beat
Putting pen to paper is how I make ends meet

~Marsha Nelson
04.03.2016
NaPoWriMo
3/30

CHALLENGE LINK: https://1sojournal.wordpress.com/2016/04/02/napowrimo-day-3/

 

#2 NaPoWriMo — My Gift

Posted: April 3, 2016 in Uncategorized

2012-FEB-Secrets-NostalgiaCaptured

You don’t know me.
The REAL me.
You merely see what you want to see
Telling me to forget what I used to be
Saying, “How will the past determine your future
What good is it to re-live the demons of
Your childhood
Adolescence
Young adult
Adult years?”

With medical degrees that line your walls…
Paper your world like a padded room
Books that gather dust upon your shelves
Tombs that are supposed to define
The likes of me
I laugh
You are not equipped to handle my story

I am undefined
To a point that you cannot “help” me
Not now
Not ever.

Fear is a constant companion in my world
The secret spot I go to daily
Without coaxing
Without trying

I smile
because the world says I should
Inside the darkness it feels like I die a little
Every moment of every day
Those little ‘deaths’ bring me closer to the light
I have acknowledged them
Accepted them for what they are

My gift is that I am a warrior queen
A survivor
In my own right
Of my own might
For now and ever more
I am the only one who holds the key
That will unlock the truth
That will set me FREE

~Marsha Nelson
04.02.2016
NaPoWriMo
2/30

 

 

breaking silence 1

Sometimes the roar is so deafening
As silence descends
A heartbreaking proclaimation
Heard all to often within
Inching closer
My ink
My words
Begin to break free from
Passages of time
Yearning to scream to the masses
You see
I admit the voice swirling in my mind is
Courageous
Worthy
Demanding
A means to an end
It is time for me to
Reclaim my lyrical chains
By breaking silence

~Marsha Nelson
04.01.2016
NaPoWriMo
1/30

[It is indeed a fact that my creative juices have been stifled for a very long time now. It’s time for me to make a positive change and get back in the swing, pen ready, and make my writing happen again!]

 

Hello world!

Posted: February 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!